5-Second Films

Brian’s Latest App Idea

2013-05-17T08:02:00+00:00

Ever since I saw someone become a millionaire just for selling an app that tells you to “Stop Buying Apps, Stupid” every time you enter the App Store, I knew I had to get my big piece of that gimmicky pie. Then after months of broken or short-circuited iPhones, I was ready to give up. But then I saw someone ELSE become a millionaire just for selling an app that tells you when a good time to poop might be, and I knew I had to get back in the ring.

Breaking Into Hollywood

2013-05-16T08:30:00+00:00

Incidentally, Rousselet’s screenplay was called “Breaking Into Hollywood,” which was about a hardscrabble screenwriter named Michael Rousselet who had a hard time making it in Hollywood, so he wrote a screenplay called “Breaking Into Hollywood” and broke into a guy’s house who lived fairly close to the Hollywood sign. INCIDENTALLY.

Hoverbums

2013-05-15T07:00:00+00:00

Ever since Bloomberg demanded all vagabonds get ultra-powerful hover technology installed in their bodies (and on the taxpayer’s dime, no less), there’s been a 400% increase in stolen windowsill pies. The streets are technically cleaner though, since they’re not actually touching the concrete. So there’s that.

Becky’s Bad Day

2013-05-14T07:00:00+00:00

It is the question that burns deep in the heart of every man, woman and child who suffer quiet indignities and weather harsh times: Who, indeed, shit in my cereal? As with all things, the answer eludes us until it is nothing more than a distant memory, of chewy textures and curious odors.

5secondfilms Week in Review #237

2013-05-14T00:09:00+00:00

A giant fork obstructs a lonely man from eating his pizza on a date with his CGI Mother.

5secondfilms Week in Review #236

2013-05-14T00:08:00+00:00

While doing a research stoned alone a man over crammed his crammed box and lost a dangerous amount of water killing Cinco de Mayo.

5secondfilms Week in Review #235

2013-05-14T00:06:00+00:00

A roofied paparazzi bakes a free lunch for his singing fish.

5sf Comments of the Week 5/6 - 5/10

2013-05-14T00:01:00+00:00

Check out our green-swede of THE ROOM this week on Multiverse: http://is.gd/OhHaiGreenswede’

The gang goes outside because it’s too damn hot. We talk about Ugly CEOs, Spooning, Armpit sex, eating babies, explosions, our neighbors hating us, also we wonder if we were all abused as children, and Maria sneezes like a bunny.

The Day After Mother’s Day

2013-05-13T07:20:00+00:00

Take some time out each year to recognize the sacrifice your mom gave in bringing you into this world. Like finding the right doctor, since really, he’s the dude doing all the hard work. Seriously, big ups to the Doc. Get that man a steak! It’s the least you could do, after all that time he spent telling your mom to “breathe” (whatever that means).

Mother’s Day

2013-05-10T07:00:00+00:00

Mother’s Day is Sunday. Call your mom. Mother’s Day is Sunday. Call your mom. Mother’s Day is Sunday. Call your mom. Mother’s Day is Sunday. Call your mom. Mother’s Day is Sunday. Call your mom. Mother’s Day is Sunday. Call your mom. Mother’s Day is Sunday. Call your mom.