5secondfilms | 5secondfilms

Power Wingman

Brian Firenzi — Wed, 16 May 2012 08:04:06 +0000

A good P.W. never oversteps his boundaries and takes away the girl you’re going after. Trust me though, he could easily, easily do it. Yes, even with a monocle.Note: There is a rating embedded within this post, please visit this post to rate it.

Desperation Isle

Timothy Ciancio — Tue, 15 May 2012 07:00:15 +0000

I guess you could say he was suffering from blue…[animorphs into a volleyball]…balls. Note: There is a rating embedded within this post, please visit this post to rate it.

Belated Mother’s Day

MEP — Mon, 14 May 2012 07:00:53 +0000

It’s a trick that works surprisingly often. But getting the melons past grocery store security is often the hardest part, particularly if you have birthing hips and a desperate look in your eyes.Note: There is a rating embedded within this post, please visit this post to rate it.

What Really Happens When You Die

MEP — Fri, 11 May 2012 08:30:21 +0000

Life is but a quarter, plunked into the coin slot of fate. We know not how far we’ll fly when our judgment day comes, nor if our aim shall be true. But either way, we’ll know the ticket payout is a ripoff compared to the Whack-a-Mole machine in the other corner of the universe.Note: There is a rating embedded within this post, please visit this post to rate it.

President Kelsey

MEP — Thu, 10 May 2012 07:00:42 +0000

Twelve people camped outside the White House, protesting the arrest. But they were all ugly losers, so the local authorities had no trouble hosing them out.Note: There is a rating embedded within this post, please visit this post to rate it.

The Dating Trap

Timothy Ciancio — Wed, 09 May 2012 07:20:50 +0000

Contestants leave with lovely parting gifts, including a year’s supply of Strawberry Quik, a trip to Space Camp, and a pair of L.A. Lights. All for your fucking money-suck of a kid, of course.Note: There is a rating embedded within this post, please visit this post to rate it.

The Fool in the Pool

Brian Firenzi — Tue, 08 May 2012 07:00:13 +0000

Unsure of how else to tell him he had a cheating girlfriend, his close friends bought him a pair of inflatable water wings so he’d stay above water long enough to hear of the infidelities himself. Sadly, his powerful legs still found a way to dive to the floor, where he could retrieve sunken pool toys in blissful ignorance.Note: There is a rating embedded within this post, please visit this post to rate it.

5SF Assemble!

MEP — Mon, 07 May 2012 11:21:40 +0000

This was filmed on a budget of $130.53, but the opening internet grosses are our highest-ever. So we should make our money back in 5 years.Note: There is a rating embedded within this post, please visit this post to rate it.

The Herstory of Cinco de Mayo

Brian Firenzi — Fri, 04 May 2012 07:00:41 +0000

The ultrasounds from a few months ago detected empty bottles of Bushmill’s, a sombrero and a full beard. It looked like Lamaze class wasn’t going to be un paseo por el parque after all.Note: There is a rating embedded within this post, please visit this post to rate it.

3D Food

mrousselet — Thu, 03 May 2012 07:00:00 +0000

Far juicier than normal, boring 2D Food!Note: There is a rating embedded within this post, please visit this post to rate it.