Self-Loathing In Las Vegas

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There was a tiger [ed: at a magic show he didn't see] and I ran from the cops [but they didn't notice or care] and I accidentally married a stripper [he accidentally watched a stripper get married] and I crashed my car into a casino [he ran up onto the curb a little bit while parallel parking] and then I barfed all over Kim Kardashian's boobs! [that really did happen]


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