The Fire Island Players Present: 5-Second Films...

Last Film Last Film
The year after our "Slippery When Wet" entry in the annual 24-hour filmmaking competition at USC ("5 Seconds of Slip"), we stepped it up and brought our B-minus game with a deeper crew, two cameras and luckily a better prompt: "My Eyes Are Killing Me." Also, I guess we had to include a mirror or something. Many consider this 5secondfilms' crowning achievement, for The Brilliant Dr. Eye alone, and I'm not in a real position to say otherwise, since it's the only reason we could have possibly won Best Picture and Audience Choice come awards night. Many thanks to all who participated, the cookies were delicious and the Night Train was pungent.


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  • bob smith 12.05.13 @ 10:58am

    where do you get the eye hats?

  • DukeNukemk 11.22.12 @ 11:25am

    OMG the drive thru is the best hands down.

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  • Wilson 09.16.12 @ 4:05pm

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  • zander flex 05.26.12 @ 1:03pm

    Whats the song playing during the skit at 3:42?

  • unnamed 12.15.11 @ 7:06am

    я из рассии я нехуя непонимаю что пиздят              во всех фильмах

  • KYKid84 11.14.11 @ 6:00pm

    What I’m wondering is why some of these bits weren’t in the original upload. The dyslexia and prank call bits (for example) weren’t in the video on this site before.

  • UzunYasar 10.16.11 @ 3:04am

    vay mk super :D

  • That Guy 09.26.11 @ 3:58pm


  • Thor-axe the Impaler 08.24.11 @ 11:31pm

    Damnit you guys, I need to go to sleep but I can’t stop watching these! HELP ME!!!

  • Edward 08.01.11 @ 2:35pm

    Why am I so powerfully attracted to the girl who cackles maniacally in “Pop Eyes,” and then threatens to remove a man’s eye in “Ping Pong.”  What does that say about me?  I mean, it can’t be a good sign, can it?

  • Forin 07.28.11 @ 11:54pm

    After this video my eyes are killing me!

  • Gryph 05.26.11 @ 3:15pm

    Absolutely love the Dr. Eye and “Music this way!” bits.

    Also, the short haired girl’s physical appearance is of an aesthetically pleasing nature that appeals to me.

  • That one guy 04.07.11 @ 3:33pm

    The BRILLIANT Dr. Eye! A medical92 hero! man i luv these kind of vidoez! how do peoplz hate Thiz? Opinion iz fair i gess…

  • bobtherunaway 03.27.11 @ 9:39pm

    “bears don’t drive cars….



  • Pooh 02.09.11 @ 5:07pm

    I want to see more of pooh

  • that guy 12.23.10 @ 9:08am

    did anybody else get the sex lies audiotape reference?

  • Echo 199 12.17.10 @ 11:00pm

    Awwww the prank call skits were some of my favorites from this vid. :/

  • Chimp 12.17.10 @ 10:56am

    why have they been removed they were good!! Anyway, still one of my favorite!

  • Brian Firenzi 11.30.10 @ 12:54pm

    Enjoy those new 5sfs while you can guys, they’re aberrations and are being removed soon.

  • Failed Punchline 11.16.10 @ 5:01pm



  • Whaaaaat?? 11.16.10 @ 1:04pm

    Hm. There are three or four new films in there. Interesting.

  • Mega gay. 11.15.10 @ 9:58pm

    ping pong table best one out of all of em

  • Chimp 11.11.10 @ 7:17pm

    OMG 5SF YOU’VE JUST ADDED NEW SEQUENCES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Clark 10.30.10 @ 11:15am

    It took me forever to figure out where I recognized that guy from Deadliest Warrior.

  • Aoife 10.24.10 @ 8:51am

    The blond guy in the “It’s Not a Tumor” sketch reminds me sooo much of Colin Baker (AKA the 7th Doctor)

  • shauni81 09.26.10 @ 10:57am

    It looks like they like the Residents ...

  • Dr. Eye's son. 09.25.10 @ 6:20pm

    no give him aids

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  • wererat2000 08.25.10 @ 5:02pm

    god i love that song, who did it?

  • NoobSauce 08.09.10 @ 3:58pm

    That last skit…  was the greatest…  perfect lip synching.  Also great pun.

  • That one guy 08.02.10 @ 3:15pm

    You mean thats NOT how we listen to music?

  • not the soda machine!!! 08.01.10 @ 8:12pm

    that must be a really bad dean why would anyone get rid of the soda machine?!?!?!/?

  • theperson 07.30.10 @ 11:23am


  • Phil McCormick 07.28.10 @ 11:41pm

    Wow! Anti-gay and homophobic skits are SO funny! Ha. Ha. Ha. I thought you dudes were cool until I saw this shit.

  • ModelOZX 07.12.10 @ 12:47am

    I don’t have a witty comment because you all took the ones I had.

  • poozu 06.27.10 @ 12:26pm

    DUDE, THATS THE GUY FROM DEADLIEST WARRIOR!!!!!!!!! Sorry dude didn’t see ur other blog… Chuck Norris will now kill me because of the redundancy!

  • Jack 06.22.10 @ 10:44am

    No, give him AIDS!

  • Jimmydadean 06.10.10 @ 9:36pm

    Holy crap!  That guy is on Deadliest Warrior now!  Nerdgasm!

  • Josh 05.28.10 @ 10:42pm


  • ParadoxBG 02.22.10 @ 8:17pm

    I was upset at first because I was hoping the credits were going from shortest names to longest, and I was let down. But then I realized they formed the shape of a rough phallus, and I felt better. :D

  • wolfagar 02.14.10 @ 10:18am

    hahahaha the last one is awesome!!

  • Oathkeeper 01.29.10 @ 4:32pm

    love your guys work. just found the site the other day, is the fire island players a Last Airbender reference by chance?

  • Flarg 01.18.10 @ 4:25pm

    Who are they refrencing at Ne Dean?

  • mombo 11.17.09 @ 4:39pm

    papa loves mombo….....MOMBOOO! lol that was so weird

  • Timmy Don't Piss On That! 10.26.09 @ 6:13pm

    notice the abundance of eyes and lack of other body parts WTF WHY DONT YOU LOVE NOSES!

  • RamJammin 10.21.09 @ 11:48pm

    Is that the Max Geiger from “Deadliest Warrior”? hahaha!

  • Barc0d3sn1p3r 10.21.09 @ 5:45pm

    No matter how many times I see Dr. Eye It doesn’t get old! Lolz

  • :O 10.07.09 @ 6:38am

    omg it is!!! max geiger!! lol

  • the one and only... 10.05.09 @ 3:33pm

    no! give him AIDS!

  • YES 09.21.09 @ 9:00pm

    is that the guy from Deadliest Warrior?

  • Supplement Deals 09.13.09 @ 11:22pm

    Crazy film

  • Anon 09.11.09 @ 6:28am

    Pause at the 2:56 (eyeChat) (Am I supposed to be the guy or the girl?) hahhh.

  • sd 09.08.09 @ 6:06pm


  • nintendude794 08.21.09 @ 2:05pm

    I appreciate the A Beautiful Mind reference at 2:49.  Even though it wasn’t funny. (:  This is mostly great, fantastic job guys.

  • The Moose 08.19.09 @ 8:26am

    LAWL @ the old ass connection noise when he stabs his eye… lmao… excellent jerb

  • Matthew 08.17.09 @ 5:11am

    You guys have outdone yourselves with this one.

  • Emily 08.09.09 @ 6:33pm

    eyePod made me laugh. You guys are freaking brilliant.

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  • D7DN3RD 07.13.09 @ 7:13pm

    Meh, could of been better, maybe be even more abrupt?

  • Astro 07.07.09 @ 2:41am

    Mateus led me to you.

    This is fabulous.

  • Jarsh 07.06.09 @ 12:41pm

    we only serve chicken

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  • miky 06.30.09 @ 10:11pm

    shhhh eye like to watch

  • 7ru7h 06.18.09 @ 7:51pm

    Wrong clay, that “was anyway you want it” by JOURNEY, not rise against, although their cover isn’t bad

  • Your Biological Father 06.15.09 @ 10:50am

    - Midsentence: “I heart the ping pong girl”

    As do I!

    Also of note is the chat text during the eyeChat segment. One of the people typing needed to be reminded whether they were acting as the guy or the girl.

  • Earthbreaker 06.04.09 @ 1:14am

    I still think the first is my favourite…
    PENGUIN!!! ?! >: <

  • Mega Straight 06.03.09 @ 8:33pm

    I watched this compilation once for every genital you own.

  • man living in your sink 06.03.09 @ 12:05pm

    my EARS are killing me… rofl

  • man living in your sink 06.01.09 @ 4:57pm

    in the future, we will all listen to music like this! *stabs eye with earphones* ANY WAY U WANT IT!!

  • bobs 05.29.09 @ 4:21pm

    magnificent beyond comprehension

  • El Liamo 05.25.09 @ 2:11pm

    I don’t get all the crap about the mirrors. I mean, what the hell was that all about?

  • flystatic 05.24.09 @ 4:05am

    2.50 Haha!
    “NO!!! Give him aids!”

  • clay 05.20.09 @ 3:28pm

    anyway you want it by rise against, nice

  • midsentence 05.16.09 @ 11:59am

    i heart the ping pong girl.

  • dwhee 05.13.09 @ 6:50pm

    ‘“Gay” to mean “bad” is discriminatory. Not to mention lazy writing.’

    It’s also hilarious, fag.

  • dwhee 05.13.09 @ 6:49pm

    Not their best… I suppose it’s good that they label it their ‘crowning achievement’ in the descrip because they’ve done so much better since.

    personally, i like it when they’re not restricted to themes. it’s funny occasionally, but it’s not good for their format.

    is markers giving you aids an urban myth or something?

  • davey 05.03.09 @ 9:36am

    couldn’t finish it. :C i did not enjoy this at all.

  • Joe-Mac 04.19.09 @ 10:39am

    3:22 my girlfriend has that shirt. she also has a giant eyeball as a head.

  • Steve 04.14.09 @ 7:10pm

    Was that Ray Stokes!?!

  • Kevin 04.02.09 @ 12:48pm

    what a perfect ending

  • Kevin 04.02.09 @ 12:43pm


  • v 03.19.09 @ 5:04pm

    My eyes are in tears. my stomach in cramps, my voice is gon. Thank you. Monty Pythonish this stuff of yours . Lovin it Keep it up!

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