Crambox
Albert's crambox was home to many a blue feeling, sad thought and bummer memory. One could argue that a box can't hold words in speech form, and thus has no intrinsic value. But if you told that to Albert, he'd just get sad and go tell it to his crambox. It's a cycle of shame, repression and darkened closets for old Albert, and since that's all he's ever known, it's just the way he likes (and simultaneously hates) it.
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