Films
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Harry’s Ex-Wives
8Sometimes, you honestly think they invented the word “Divorce” just for Harry. Of course, they didn’t, but they did invent...
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Sadness³
17It makes lemonade saltier, yet it makes Diet Coke Salt with Lime taste sweeter. Possibly because Diet Coke Salt with Lime is 90% salt.
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Vitamin C You Later
18This was in the original draft of M. Night Shyamalan’s “The Happening,” but was changed in the revisions because the trees...
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Door-To-Door Door Salesman
169 times outta 10, the customer says no. It’s a tough racket, being a salesman. But what keeps people coming back to this job is that 1...
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Manbortion
10You ever passed a kidney stone, son? (Hunkers down, pours six grams of Bushmills in an iced tumbler, lights a Cohiba and exhales) No, I...
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Brian’s Latest App Idea
14Ever since I saw someone become a millionaire just for selling an app that tells you to “Stop Buying Apps, Stupid” every time...
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Breaking Into Hollywood
11Incidentally, Rousselet’s screenplay was called “Breaking Into Hollywood,” which was about a hardscrabble screenwriter...
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Hoverbums
13Ever since Bloomberg demanded all vagabonds get ultra-powerful hover technology installed in their bodies (and on the taxpayer’s dime,...