Do The Tractor Beam

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The Reverse Thrust is a classic escape maneuver, but can result in all manner of wildlife, power tools and passersby being inexorably drawn to your rhythmic thrusting. Sometimes it can spell your doom just as much as succumbing to the power of a group's thrust pile-up.

Comments

  • Teja 05.11.12 @ 7:15am

    kampu denguthundi chiiiiiiiiiiii….................

  • hippophagy 04.03.12 @ 6:42am

    How come there are no 5SFers in this 5SF? Did I miss something?

  • I get It 04.03.12 @ 12:19am

    I GET IT, IT CAUSE SHE’S FAT!

  • editec 04.01.12 @ 6:28pm

    “Joe Goes for Help” was hilarious.

    “Wrap it up” was completely demented and I like that quality in my 5 second humor.

  • No Fat Chicks 03.25.12 @ 1:26pm

    No fat chicks,

  • Bob Dole 03.25.12 @ 2:49am

    If I had a nickle for everytime I heard “reverse your thrust!” I’d be both rich and incredibly dry, if you know what I mean.

  • kalvynevans 03.25.12 @ 1:58am

    I love the sign behind that chick.

    Is that… mario brothers music?

  • Nicole 03.24.12 @ 9:38pm

    Additionally, while I am completely confused by this 5sF, I love everyone’s expressions in the group thrust. :D

  • Nicole 03.23.12 @ 5:58pm

    Jess FTW!

  • Some guy 03.23.12 @ 9:04am

    Reminds me of the chick magnet. In fact, you should do a sequel to this that is also a sequel to chick magnet…

  • Here's the thing,... 03.23.12 @ 5:12am

    The Tractor Beam; it’s like the disco lasso, only nerdier and far more dangerous.

  • Here's the thing,... 03.23.12 @ 5:10am

    In that situation, there’s only one escape; do the Beam-up.

  • Justin Case 03.23.12 @ 3:30am

    That is the best first comment I have and will ever see.

  • Man Solo 03.23.12 @ 12:24am

    Idiot in middle jumps gun, makes me laugh at my own confusion.

  • Jess 03.23.12 @ 12:14am

    I see 5SF is fobbing reality again. Reverse thrust. Pffft.

    If you do manage to become stuck in this predicament. Don’t panic. Stay calm.

    First, you must remove the tachyon emitter, this will give you a precious few seconds to perform the following.

    Vent the anti-matter. You may have already vented your matter at the terror the situation involves (Or if you have a weak bladder). Then, you’ll want to invert polarities, zoom 23% (Not 22 or 24, but 23) and reverse oscillation.

    This SHOULD reverse the effect… However, it may also cause you to undergo an extreme blue-shift. You will become pure gamma radiation… But the tractor beam effect will be nullified. And everyone will be dead within a 2 kilometer radius.

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