Emo Kids All Grown Up

Last Film Last Film
​Well technically, a third of his life is only over if he lives to be 90. Which, based on his paleo/vegan diet, means it's highly likely. But based on his penchant for writing poems about idiot libertarian girls who don't notice him while laying down in rush hour traffic, it means he probably doesn't have a chance. But if the rest of the drivers are really super-attentive, helloooo 90 years old! But if some of those drivers are "idiot libertarian girls," he's fucked.


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  • zinana 08.12.13 @ 6:54pm

    Oh god I don’t think you get any money no matter how I slice this. Brian I am so, so sorry. I’ve been a fan since Ed Wood 2007 and I want to ensure that you continue to produce Five Second Films forever.
    Read more at http://5secondfilms.com/watch/emo-kids-all-grown-up#g5hq8fmbyHhzcGSj.99


  • Mykee 08.09.13 @ 8:14am

    No emo kid would ever listen to Burzum, or even know who the hell it was!

    still good tho, as always.

  • Licensed to (treat the) ILL 08.07.13 @ 9:29am

    I think the only reason these people are emo is because want to live as long as possible and the more they hate life the slower it will seem to go by. This is similar to Dunbar from Catch 22 who tries to make life go as slow as possible so he does stuff he doesn’t like.

  • Nicole 08.06.13 @ 9:37pm

    I lol’d. smile

  • You Sir Are Reading This Outloud 08.06.13 @ 4:46pm

    Melancholy Birthday. (Instead of Happy Birthday to the 5sf Mr. Actor dude guy male)

  • Equal opportunity lightbulb 08.06.13 @ 4:16pm

    So I had to Google Burzum, cuz I had no fucking idea what that was. It looks like an emo kid just happens to like a Norwegian musician’s work.

    Now that that’s out of the way, MORE DAVEY HAVOK!!!

    Of course, if you could get Maynard James Keenan or the guys from Ghost Adventures, then I’ll die happy…or just die, whichever…

  • Pastor of Muppets 08.06.13 @ 3:00pm

    Awww ... So punchable.

    /I give this video one cruel world full of dark despair, crying out for an eternity of nothingness to make the pain stop.  And hula hoops.

  • Varg Vikernes 08.06.13 @ 12:06pm

    Burzum /=/ emo.

    Still funny, though.

  • Alec Owen 08.06.13 @ 11:59am

    I’m not Alec Owen

  • 23skadoo 08.06.13 @ 9:14am

    pipe down chatty cathy

  • Joshua 08.06.13 @ 5:56am

    Less than three. <3

  • Joshua 08.06.13 @ 5:55am

    Thanks for Five Years of Five Seconds, Brian.

  • Joshua 08.06.13 @ 5:55am

    In hindsight, I think “forever” is a long time. I didn’t donate that much money to DBPM3. Hell, I barely donated enough to feed you for a day. But it was what I could afford, and that’ll have to do.

  • Joshua 08.06.13 @ 5:45am

    Oh god I don’t think you get any money no matter how I slice this. Brian I am so, so sorry. I’ve been a fan since Ed Wood 2007 and I want to ensure that you continue to produce Five Second Films forever.

  • Joshua 08.06.13 @ 5:43am

    Also it’s at http://5secondfilms.com/watch/time_machine but I think you get Internet Bucks either way that I link it. Or do you? Brian, are you wealthy from my links back to your own website?

  • Joshua 08.06.13 @ 5:40am

    It’s my 30th birthday soon, too. :|

    Time for http://youtu.be/ozBUu2IoczE

  • BigSoph 08.06.13 @ 4:43am

    Idiot libertarian girls?

    More like dedicated communalists who aren’t aware that you can only give away other people’s money for so long before it runs out.

    The part about dying young because you eat tofu? Awesome

  • padurn 08.06.13 @ 12:21am

    At least they can still hang out near playgrounds.

  • Cherub Cow 08.06.13 @ 12:11am

    I mean…

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