It Ain’t Shakespeare
Some glory in seconds, some 5-Second Films
Some in their puns, some in their artless force,
Some in their websites, though new-fangled ill,
Some in their Robodogs, some not as coarse;
And every humor hath his adjunct pleasure,
Wherein it finds a joy above the rest:
But these particulars are not my measure;
All these I better in one general best.
My plays are better than you’ll ever be,
Sharper than puns, richer than bandwidth’s cost,
Of more delight than “Soldier Story;”
And knowing thus, for all your pride I boast:
Wretched is your product, that I must puke
Never write scripts, my most stern rebuke.


Myke6.08.09 @ 11:07pm
Bravo!
BiggerJ6.08.09 @ 11:22pm
Please oh please oh please let this mean that you’re publishing a book of 5secondfilms scripts and/or transcripts on Lulu.com.
BiggerJ6.08.09 @ 11:25pm
Wait, I’m an idiot. Why else would there a a single script titled ‘5secondfilms’? 5SECONDFILMS: THE MOVIE.
SJK6.09.09 @ 1:10am
This video… it is a lie.
moog6.09.09 @ 9:17am
I had the same reaction to “Terminator: Salvation”
The Penis of Delight6.09.09 @ 9:32am
He didn’t like the subversive porn mag he stashed in the pages of an otherwise incredible 5SF movie pitch! That’s all. Duh.
Alex M6.09.09 @ 9:33am
That was fun it made me wanna be a better man.
Maggie6.09.09 @ 9:34am
You combined my two greatest loves: Shakespeare and barf!
Jennay6.09.09 @ 9:43am
What fabulous animation! Well done, sir(s).
farrand6.09.09 @ 9:49am
I’ve have this reaction to many scripts that I read…but never, never, never a 5SF
Sexy6.09.09 @ 7:24pm
who is the Penis of Delight?!
call me, (818) 426-6806
Chaz the Weasel7.20.09 @ 12:30am
It is thanks to this man that we have the word “puke” at all. Very fitting!
zombielynx215.09.10 @ 11:59am
The description as a sonnet is a very nice touch.
jogiff5.14.10 @ 2:09am
Bard of Avon? More like TARD of Avon!!! AMIRITE?
Lanisagna6.28.10 @ 10:37pm
The sonnet in the description completely made this video for me
Arnster7.19.10 @ 10:54pm
more like a reaction to 5sf comments
http://5sf.at/315
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