Santa Snacks

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In a fit of marijuana-induced mania, Santa also mocked up the newspapers announcing his spectacular failure at distributing presents, and instead put the papers in every coffee shop and on every doorstep the same morning. It was his way of saying sorry, but people just wondered why it was called "News Times."


  • Johann 12.21.12 @ 7:31pm

    Glad to see that Dimo Higgins is on the case.

  • kalvynevans 12.21.12 @ 1:24am

    Just tell him you’re from Chico. He’ll understand.

  • Gar the Bear Weasley 12.19.12 @ 7:17pm

    All I care about is the sweater.  I would kill for the doughnut sweater.

    What even is this website all about

    Where am I?

  • Oi 12.19.12 @ 1:54pm

    That’s the number for Dimo Higgins, attorney at law. Santa must have been kidnapped by goblins.

  • TCook 12.19.12 @ 1:20pm

    “News News news News Story Story Blah Blah blah Crap Crap Crap Crap writting writting.”

    Someone should give that journalist an award or five.

  • j999 12.19.12 @ 11:29am

    * * * * maybe santa turned into the tree… * * * * *

  • tron 12.19.12 @ 9:13am

    I just called 626-38-juicy, and my dad picked up : /

  • matt 12.19.12 @ 9:13am

    I think this video would have been better if the newspaper was removed, and the scenes were reversed:


    “Where are the presents?!”

    “Where are our weed cookies?”

    I mean, not that it matters at this point. Sorry.

  • SGT. Todd Parker 12.19.12 @ 6:42am

    I just left a voicemail for that suspicious charactah. We will be briefin our shift commandahs, and we will be in contact with ya via the twittah machine or the american internet.

  • padurn 12.19.12 @ 5:44am

    Space doughnuts.

  • JSPN 12.19.12 @ 5:34am

    I blame the couple who thought it was a good idea to bake weed inside the cookies .... while they were on weed.

  • IB 12.19.12 @ 1:19am

    Chili on a frosted donut? Genius!

  • Pepper, the Dude with the Food. 12.19.12 @ 12:43am

    Your local paper needs to check their spelling.

  • Some Name 12.19.12 @ 12:25am

    Alright, so who’s going to call 626-38-JUICY?

  • orjasmo 12.19.12 @ 12:11am

    Fucking Cincy.

  • Mr Wednesday 12.19.12 @ 12:05am

    Good thing by the time Santa gets here, the effects will have worn off. Yay for presents!

    Also, where can I order News Times?

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