The Sanctity of Marriage

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"They want to take our rights away? Well we want to 'splode their heads!" Went one of the less-successful pro-gay rights protest chants.


  • blafwsarvg 07.19.14 @ 6:26am

    please someone do this in real life

  • Local SEO San Antonio 02.26.13 @ 6:39pm

    Congratulations on your secret sneaky gay-marriage, and sorry

  • the creeper king 01.06.13 @ 8:30pm

    Antonio- You said it brother.

  • Antonio 12.17.12 @ 8:03am

    Shit. She’s lesbian. :(
    Nothing wrong with that of course, but just another really attractive girl that is off-limits.

  • LauW 12.09.12 @ 4:36pm

    no i find…
    i’m tired

  • LauW 12.09.12 @ 4:36pm

    i think*

  • LauW 12.09.12 @ 4:36pm

    actually, I find her very attractive
    Maybe this is the lesbian power, you can see it but you can’t touch it

  • Crash 11.29.12 @ 6:51pm

    The best part is that she’s actually a lesbian.

  • petrino 09.24.12 @ 12:52am


  • petsinwinter 09.20.12 @ 9:49am

    @kalvynevans that was the priest, not her.

  • kalvynevans 09.20.12 @ 8:55am

    I’m disturbed by the noise she makes right at the end. I can only describe it as “zombie mourning the loss of it’s gay lover”.

  • Evan 09.20.12 @ 12:03am

    Next up is My Drunk 5 Second Kitchen!

  • asdfghjkl 09.19.12 @ 5:38pm

    I’ve got good news for you, Brian!

  • alexdhenley 09.19.12 @ 3:40pm

    I’ve got bad news for you, Brian…

  • Cherub Cow 09.19.12 @ 2:23pm

    Emergency pirate 5sf, Rousselet!!! Make it happen!!!

  • tacotux 09.19.12 @ 12:33pm

    The priest’s reaction is gold… oscar gold

  • mrousselet 09.19.12 @ 10:54am


    Oh, no! It’s Talk Like a Pirate Day?! my bad… well, gay pirates should be able to marry too.

  • Pastor_of_Muppets 09.19.12 @ 10:43am

    Oh, and for shame 5SF… How can you post a video on Talk Like a Pirate Day that is most definitely NOT about Pirates?

  • Pastor_of_Muppets 09.19.12 @ 10:42am

    It’s “amusing” how people assume that comments 100% reflect the attitudes of commenters.

    Bad commenter, bad!  This is NPR, not 5secondfilms!  Oh, wait….

  • StrongBad 09.19.12 @ 10:39am

    and my head explode

  • ultraviolet 09.19.12 @ 10:37am


  • kitten 09.19.12 @ 10:03am

    Congratulations on your secret sneaky gay-marriage, I had no idea that you were even secret sneaky gay-engaged.

  • Srsly tho 09.19.12 @ 9:59am

    Congrats on getting that in 5 seconds.

  • the_nozzle_poots 09.19.12 @ 9:47am

    Putting the tity in sanctity.

    I know, sorry.

  • Chuck Tenfold 09.19.12 @ 9:15am

    That is hilarious.

  • Hieronymous Burps 09.19.12 @ 9:12am

    It’s “cool” how there’s pretty much nothing a woman can do without being reminded that dudes regard their existence as a means for sexual gratification. Good Going, Comment Section Dudes.

  • FFD 09.19.12 @ 9:03am

    Wow, we got some gross dudes in this comment section.

  • Charlotte 09.19.12 @ 9:03am

    Oh Hannah,you so awsome!

  • Pastor_of_Muppets 09.19.12 @ 8:06am

    Wait.  Is Brian aware of this?

    /I give this video two naughty prison girls

  • Yoyo-dada 09.19.12 @ 7:32am

    my drunk 5 second kitchen

  • Simon Bar Sinister 09.19.12 @ 6:03am

    I’m all for gay marriage.

    As long as they’re both girls.

    And they’re hot.

    And I can watch.

  • bigsoph 09.19.12 @ 4:27am

    Actually, as a legal student there is solid provision for annulment of the marriage contract on the basis of misrepresentation

    But, in the interests of fairness, we will allow them to make out for a bit before we commence any action

  • I have no satisfaction 09.19.12 @ 2:26am

    That was so beautiful

    I give this 5 wet hankies.

  • Matchstickman 09.19.12 @ 2:25am

    Priests are getting paid too much if they spend their money on gold bibles

  • Man Solo 09.19.12 @ 1:36am

    Brian is one lucky fuck.

  • Red Riot 09.19.12 @ 1:17am

    Damn!!! For once couldn’t it have been a 6 second film?

  • darkc 09.19.12 @ 1:16am

    Amishes dont like lesb. marriage?

  • Cherub Cow 09.19.12 @ 12:14am

    Got him! He fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous of which is, “never get involved in a land war in Asia,” but only SLIGHTLY less well-known is this: Never go against two committed same-sex partners when *marriage* is on the line!! hahahahahahahahahaha

  • petsinwinter 09.19.12 @ 12:01am

    Hannah Hart!!! I’m surprised!

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