Zanderflex: Bottoms Up

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In his quieter moments, Elliot Zanderflex has always revealed his shortcomings to women, in the hopes that they'll recognize his bleeding-heart honesty and reassure him that he is worthy of love despite his failings as a person. In his louder moments, he can be found drunkenly humping drywall in an abandoned parking garage, blasting the live version of Def Leppard's "Photograph" from a 2004 flip phone speaker.

Comments

  • bigsoph 09.19.12 @ 4:31am

    He is shallow, a callous user of women, emotionally distant and smug to the point of arrogance

    No wonder women love him!

    (and, to clarify, my second statement is that it is of no surprise that women are attracted to him, not that no version of the DC comics character Wonder Woman has emotional attachments to him)

  • Kevin 09.16.12 @ 9:30pm

    Up until this moment I didn’t know Rousse played Zanderflex because of the huge ponytail and extremely deep voice and instead there was some other 5sf star that I never saw anywhere else.

  • nick 09.15.12 @ 7:10am

    Your eyes are back!

  • jared 09.15.12 @ 12:36am

    i identify with this character.

  • I_Must_Know 09.14.12 @ 4:18pm

    I don’t know if it’s just a sample audio track from iMovie or Garage Band or something, but does anyone know where that piano track playing in the background is from?

  • the_nozzle_poots 09.14.12 @ 10:58am

    Hey, I’m dead inside, too!
    Hifiiiiiive!

  • Srsly tho 09.14.12 @ 10:23am

    Jokes aren’t as funny when you have to wikipedia them :C

  • Pastor_of_Muppets 09.14.12 @ 10:20am

    Oh, wait.  Formaldehyde, not Chloroform.  Got my illicit chemicals mixed up.

  • Pastor_of_Muppets 09.14.12 @ 10:20am

    I thought he’d also order a hanky.

    /I give this video five smug fingerbangs

  • Slept in Yo Mama! 09.14.12 @ 4:49am

    His voice just made me orgasm. Zanderflex, how I’ve missed you!

  • Cherub Cow 09.14.12 @ 2:57am

    We’ve known Zanderflex long enough to see he isn’t devoid of emotion. His subtle facial twitches wouldn’t be noticed by the layman, but to us ... he might as well be sobbing.

    All we need to do is tug on the thread. The sudden flood of emotion he’ll feel when he comes to believe he’s been killing people by shooting them with his finger is all the excuse he’ll need to leave Earth.

  • padurn 09.14.12 @ 1:57am

    Well played, Prince Elliot.

  • kendilious 09.14.12 @ 1:03am

    The title alone made me giddy.  Good ol’ Zanderflex!

  • Sean 09.14.12 @ 12:05am

    my tears will never stop
    just like my parties

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